I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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