the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
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I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
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My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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