just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
