Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You dont lie about slip and slides
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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