I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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