shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
