That's intense
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
