she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
