I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
