It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
