is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
