Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
