i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
