when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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