whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
