There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
