Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Everyone says I win the strip club
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
