i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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