Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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