Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
