Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
