so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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