and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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