I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
too bad you live with your parents still
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
