it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
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I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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