The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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