Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
