So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize