my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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