Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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