Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize