Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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