guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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