I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It was confusing and full of hummus
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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