That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
