I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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