so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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