Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
