Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
