Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
