Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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