I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
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I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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