Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
