I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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