i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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