Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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