How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
