I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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