You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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