got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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