ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
