the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
