I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
