Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
