If i come over, it means nothing
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
