so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
