You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
North Korea, Best Korea!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
