I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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