His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
