so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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